WHAT’S YOUR PARENTING STYLE?

  Written by Keerthi Aithal, Psychologist, Ph.no: +919980476255 

                   Read time 5 minutes

Parenting is a huge responsibility, and often can be overwhelming and exhausting. Parenting is a skill which is learnt through a lot of practice and experience, through reading books, watching videos on parenting, experience got from our own parents, and by observing other parents too. Parents behaviour and attitudes have a huge role in shaping a child’s personality, and the emotional environment in which the child is raised is of utmost importance for the child’s social, emotional and behavioural needs.

To understand more about parenting, it would be important to know the Parenting Styles and its impact on raising children. There are research evidences which suggests the effects of the parenting style to carry over into the adult behaviour. Hence, understanding parenting styles and the effects these styles have on children is necessary to become a well-informed and responsible parents.

The four parenting styles include,

Ø  Authoritative Parenting.

Ø  Authoritarian Parenting.

Ø  Permissive Parenting.

Ø  Uninvolved Parenting.

Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. They set clear rules and expectations for their children but are also nurturing and supportive. Parents tend to solve problems together with their children. There’s lot of room for open communication, and exchange of ideas, reasons for certain rules in the family. Parents tend to bolster their children with virtues such as honesty, integrity, love, compassion, gratitude, and instill faith in oneself. Children’s curiosity is encouraged, nurtured and developed. Independency, structure and discipline are valued, and parents exert firm control over rules, and any disagreement between the parent and the children are followed with reasoning, discussions and clarifications. These parents are more nurturing, and forgiving than punishing when children fail to meet their expectations.

Children brought up under Authoritative parenting styles tend to be Happy, Friendly, Self-reliant, Self-controlled, Curious, Co-operative, Successful, and show higher levels of life satisfaction when they get older.

  

Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parents are highly demanding, but not very responsive. They prioritize obedience and discipline often using strict rules and punishment as a means of control. It’s a parent-driven and one-way communication, with little consideration of child’s social-emotional and behavioural needs. Children don’t have a voice or a say in any decision making and are expected to strictly obey parent’s views and values as doctrine’s. Failing to obey or daring to question parental rules are often met with severe punishment.

This parenting style often lead to children who are obedient, but are unhappy. They show lower self-esteem, lower self-reliance, lower social competence, show reduced intrinsic motivation, and have increased anxiety. Children have a high tendency to lie to avoid punishment.

Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive parents are responsive, but not very demanding. They are warm, but lax. They are lenient and indulgent, often avoiding confrontation and setting few rules to no rules, hence fail to bring about appropriate mature and responsible behaviour in their children. It’s child-driven where parent more often tend to consult the child before taking any decisions and makes few to no demands of the child regarding household responsibilities, and also hold no accountability for the child’s orderly behaviour. The child is not expected to follow any rules and is allowed to carry out activities as one wishes to.

This parenting style often leads to children who lack responsibility and discipline. They tend to experience problems with the authority and perform poorly in school. They show lower happiness, lower self-reliance and achievement. They are impulsive (lack self-regulation), rebellious, aimless, domineering, aggressive and tend to engage in high-risk behaviours.

Uninvolved Parenting Style

Uninvolved parents are neither demanding nor responsive. They are disengaged from their children’s lives and provide little guidance and communication. These parents fulfil the child’s basic needs, but are generally detached from their child’s life. At times, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children. These parents are indifferent to child’s social-emotional and behavioural needs.

This parenting style often leads to children who lack self-control, have lower self-esteem, and are less competent than their peers. They have higher rates of delinquency. These children sometimes seek other inappropriate role models to substitute for the neglectful parent.

Out of the four parenting styles, Authoritative Parenting Style is considered conducive for the child’s overall growth. Its time parents that you understand your parenting style, and make necessary changes in your parenting style, behaviour and attitude towards your children, so that you are better able to reciprocate to your child’s social, emotional and physical needs, and value them for who they are as an individual, and help them bolster their self-esteem and autonomy, by focusing on their overall physical growth and mental well-being.